Buc-Naked
NP Roadtrip - Days 45 – 48 - Oklahoma – Arkansas
This adventure is about National Parks, not about the number of states we drive through. However, I bought a map of the United States with stickers for each state that I’ve hung up in the trailer, and I just love putting the state stickers up as we pass through (or stay a few nights) in each state. In a nutshell, if we have to drive a little bit out of our way to get to a state that doesn’t have any National Parks, I’m all for it. While the most direct route to Hot Springs National Park from Texas is NOT through Oklahoma, we went through it AND stayed the night because I wanted to put my sticker up. It was not a fruitless trip, however, and we have many stories to tell about the journey.
For starters, I hadn’t ever been to a Buc-ees. If you are scratching your head saying, “What is a Buc-ees?”, then get your butt to Texas to experience one yourself. Neither of us had ever been and it was an eye-opening experience, to say the very least. I will preface this by letting you know that I grew up with a truck stop as our family’s business. I am used to fuel islands, C-stores (truck stop speak for Convenience Store), huge parking lots, etc. But Buc-ees had our small, but mighty, truck stop beat any day of the week with regard to size. Heart? No. But size? Yes. We pull in and there were two long rows of fuel islands with, perhaps, 50 pumps in each row. Each row! What. The. Heck? This place is already insane. And why am I taking pictures of fuel islands?!?
We park, because there are no available spaces in the 100 or so fuel islands. No really, this is not a joke. There was literally not a single space open at a fuel pump. These folks at Buc-ees must be PRINTING money! After parking, we walk in to the C-store and there is almost too much for my brain to take in. Lawn chairs, clothing, home décor, souvenirs, jerky, barbecues, sausages, and on and on and on. Sensory overload. There was even a bay of iPads at the ready for customers to customize their food orders. Or…if you didn’t feel up to selecting your order on an iPad, there was a counter in the middle of the store that was slinging hundreds of fresh and ready to eat hot sandwiches. I have a little bit of a sweet tooth when it comes to chewy candy, but I don’t like (or can’t appreciate yellow or green flavors). Buc-ees had cartons of fruit slices filled with just RED candies. We bought one carton just out of principle. They have a whole section dedicated to Buc-ees paraphernalia. The Buc-ees koozie we purchased is one of our favorite purchases of the trip thus far. And it gets used A LOT. We didn’t even end up getting gas at Buc-ees and we were there for almost 45 minutes. It’s definitely a must visit if you are traveling on the Texas freeways. Good luck. And don’t get sucked in to the Buc-ees vortex. You might get spit out with two front buck-teeth.
The next stop on the Texas freeway was Czech Stop in West, Texas. Not West Texas, but West, Texas. When my brother and sister in law recommended it, I thought they were saying Check Stop. I thought it was “just another truck stop”. Oh how I was wrong. It’s not a truck stop at all, but a bakery/deli with Czech delights that happens to be inside a gas station. It’s a fairly small place, and my sister in law told me that on some weekends there is a line around the building. We were traveling on a Monday so we only had about 5 people in front of us in line. Their cold cases hold row after row of delectable treats, both savory and sweet. They have everything from spinach dip to kolaches to sandwiches to pastries. And everything is awesome so you can’t go wrong, no matter what you pick. The only thing they didn’t have…was a koozie.
The rest of the trip through Northeast Texas is fairly boring and uneventful. Our end goal for the day was Southeast Oklahoma in Broken Bow. We really wanted to camp in Beaver’s Bend State Park. We drove all around Beaver’s Bend looking for a campsite and every single one (even the primitive ones) were occupied. We ended up driving outside of the park and got the last spot available at Secluded Acres RV Park. They have a little BBQ restaurant and full hookup sites. We cooked the Camp Buy Me Love specialty, Camp Pizzas for dinner and called it a night. Their restrooms are in Tuff Sheds that have been bisected into two rooms. They weren’t horrible, but they weren’t great either. I’m just happy we got to put up my Oklahoma sticker and that I didn’t fall through the floor of the Tuff Shed where it was soft in front of the shower. No…seriously. This was a concern.
Beavers Bend State Park
On the way out of town we stopped at Mountain Man Meat Company. We had met the owners the night before at Secluded Acres RV. They’re new to the area and have a variety of fresh and smoked meats with fixings and sides to boot. They even do local delivery if you happen to be at one of the cabins in Broken Bow. Really nice people who also gave me a new saying, “I heard that!” (must be said with a strong drawl). This saying should be used when someone says something like, “I am afraid of alligators” or “This car is really dirty” or “My name is Murphy”.
After stocking up at Mountain Man, I strongly suggested to G that we drive through Wickes, AR on the way to Hot Springs. We had a short driving day of about 3 hours, so 30 minutes out of our way was nothing. Why Wickes, AR? I wanted to see where my new little sister Abby Lorraine (my parent’s new Jack Russell Terrier puppy) was born. I called my mom as we were leaving Wickes and said that I now considered her a rescue parent and that Abby is in a much happier place than her hometown.
My sweet baby sister Abby Lorraine at her rescue home in Las Vegas, Nevada.
Hot Springs National Park is an urban national park that is actually located in downtown Hot Springs, Arkansas. Hot Springs is a medium size city at about 35,000 residents so it’s strange to have a National Park right at the center of it. Given the size of the city, though, there are plenty of options for lodging and camping. We ended up at the KOA, which is very nice and conveniently located to downtown.
Stunning sunset in Hot Springs, Arkansas.
As we rolled into town, we toured the visitor center, located in the Fordyce Bathhouse, and got a jolt of reality when we toured both the men’s and women’s areas of the bathhouse. We first went through the women’s area which was fairly plain, small, and basic. They had low ceilings, not a lot of natural light and plane white and/or marble tiles on the floors and walls. Then we went through the men’s facilities which were ornate, with huge ceilings, Greek looking marble sculptures, a fountain in the middle, and a beautiful stained glass ceiling. The rooms were huge and elaborate, which were such a stark contrast to those the women used. I’m a fairly easy going person, and I grew up surrounded by openness and appreciation for all humans, regardless of gender, race, ethnicity, sexual preference, etc. I’m not sure if I caught folks on a bad day, but I noticed that if I asked a male authority a question, with G standing right next to me, the male would look G in the eyes to answer my question. It was the oddest thing. G noticed it too, so I know I wasn’t being overly sensitive. Very strange.
There are two bathhouses still in use as a bathhouse. The first is Quapaw and the second is Buckstaff. We planned on getting up early the next day to be at the nicer (more “spa-like”) Quapaw Bathhouse. They offer couples baths, private baths, and then the larger public bath area. We got to Quapaw just after they opened and asked if they had any availability. They had been closed the day before, or else we would have tried to make a reservation. NO available reservations. Dang. So we walked over to Buckstaff and right away noticed that they were a little different. The lobby was small and uninviting. They had availability, but the gal said that men and women go to separate areas. I started to lose my nerve and looked to G for an out, but he said we were going to do it, no matter what. Ugh. I really don’t like doing things by myself that I haven’t thoroughly researched beforehand. I like to know what to expect, what the flow is, how long it’s going to be, and what is expected of me. I am extremely OCD, so my anxiety is literally going through the roof as we are paying for our services.
G goes through his door on the first floor and I am sent up an elevator to the second floor. What happens next is comepletely different for both G and I so I’m going to lay them out separately:
Women:
1. Change into what you will wear in the baths. You can go sans clothes, but I had brought a bathing suit. Some people wear shorts, or whatever you feel comfortable in and don’t mind getting wet. Put all your stuff in a locker (including your phone, which is your ONLY connection to the outside world for the next hour or so) and attach the key to your wrist.
2. Women’s locker room attendant will come by and wrap you in a white sheet. This is the same sheet you will wear until you are done with the entire process, so get comfortable.
3. Wait until your name is called. I had about 5 people in front of me, and I had to wait for 45 minutes until my name was called. I imagine if we had been there as soon as they were open at 8:30, I wouldn’t have had to wait.
4. When they call your name they bring you into a long room with a line of about 10 stalls on the left with baths inside them. These baths are bigger versions of what you would have at home, and they are cast iron. On the right side of the room with the baths are a bunch of women lying on massage type tables in the dark wrapped up in towels and sheets. There are a few other contraptions in the corners that I’ll fill you in on in a bit. The attendant takes off your sheet and helps you into the water. She’ll put the bubbles on and tell you she’ll come and get you in 15 minutes. Thank goodness there is a clock so I know how much time I had left. This part was relaxing, I have to say, but the anxiety of what was to come was almost too much. I nearly called it quits a hundred times in 15 minutes. I’m dead serious.
5. After 15 minutes of soaking, the attendant will help you out, put your sheet back on you, and take you over to another contraption, either the sitz bath or the steam seat. The steam seat looks like an ancient torture device and the sitz bath looks like a cast iron kitchen sink close to the ground. You sit in it. You sit right where others have been just seconds before, just with new water. You kind of sandwich yourself in there with your legs hanging over the edge. Kind of like a big baby in a small car seat. Then, they fill you up with water and tell you they’ll be back in 15 minutes for you. Even though it clearly states that you can only be in there for 10 minutes. I might have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) from the sitz bath alone. It was uncomfortable and not enjoyable.
6. After the sitz bath they put me in the torture chamber, i.e. Steam chamber. It’s a little metal box that you sit in and then they put metal covers around your neck to trap the steam below your neck. Even though this was uncomfortable, I did enjoy this because my face wasn’t in the steam. If my face wasn’t out of the steam and protected by the towel, I would have hated this.
7. Now it’s time to go to the dark room where you lay down on the massage-like table and just lay. I have a hard time just “laying”. I get bored really quickly and I don’t see the point. I don’t need to “cool down”. I need to get my clothes back on and out of this crazy place, but this whole time I’m thinking, G is doing this. G is doing every single thing I’m doing and hating every second of it. I need to do this for him and I can’t wimp out.
8. After 20 excruciatingly long minutes, the attendant grabs me to go over to the needle shower. She takes off my, now completely soaked, sheet and turns the shower on. I’m not sure why it’s called a “needle shower”. Maybe a long time ago the pressure was enough to come out like a needle, but now, not so much. No instruction is given to me as to how long I’ll be in this shower so I prepare for another 15 minutes, but she opens the curtain after a minute or so. She says I’m all done and to go and change back into my clothes.
9. I walk back into the locker room area and get back into my street clothes. G had texted 3 things to me: 1)Naked, 2)Brewery, and 3)Are you alive? I was 45 minutes behind him. I wasn’t sure what his first text meant, but I know that his second meant he went to the bathhouse turned brewery, Hot Springs Superior Bathhouse Brewery and that he was worried about me. I walked out and he met me right outside.
Men:
1. G’s attendant had worked there for 44 years. Once in the locker room, he told G to get naked. In fact, G heard the other attendants making fun of one of the patrons for keeping on his shorts. G complied, stripped naked, and was wrapped in a sheet that didn’t quite fit.
2. There was no wait for the guys so G was taken right into the room with the baths. Just as in the visitor center, the bathing area for the men was much larger, had many more showers, sitz baths, and tubs, and was more ornate. However, everyone was naked. The tubs weren’t in individual private rooms like the women’s area. There walls between them, but no doors. To add insult to injury, G’s tub kept emptying so his bath soak wasn’t enjoyable at all. Once done in the baths, his attendant handed him a towel (more like a hand towel than a bath towel) that wouldn’t fit completely around him.
3. The sitz bath was next. If the sitz bath was painful for me, it was excruciating for G, though his water stayed put and didn’t empty out like mine. Keep in mind that while I was in a bathing suit in this “kitchen sink” that others had just been in, G was naked. Yeah. Just let that sink in for a minute.
4. Next was the steam chamber. While mine stopped at my neck, G’s went all the way up with no protection for his face. G always says, “I’m a sweaty Italian.” And he is. So the last thing he wants is to sit in a chamber that makes you sweat a lot.
5. On to the cooling room. For both of us, this is pretty much the same. Long and boring.
6. Next was the needle shower, which sounded a little better for G than it was for me, but at this point, who’s keeping track. Then he was escorted back to the locker room where he got back into his street clothes and promptly walked over to the brewery to calm his nerves.
While the baths were not an enjoyable experience for either of us, we survived, and we have a story to tell. Overall, we had good weather in Arkansas and we got to make some awesome food at our campsite. Our one lunch out at the Cracker Barrel (a first for both of us) was a total bust with moldy cheese and chicken and dumplings that tasted like glue. We decided that, although it is more difficult and more time consuming to cook meals in our trailer, nothing beats what we churn out of our own kitchen. Not all of our experiences are going to be great ones, but it’s ok. We are going to explore everything, no matter how uncomfortable it makes us feel. For us, home is where you park it so we always get to exhale at the end of the day in our own space, with our two little munchkins, and life is good.
